Tuesday, July 10, 2001
Vancouver woman's brush with the 'Pomeranians' wins worst writing contest.SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) -- Sera Kirk was strolling through the countryside, enjoying the sunshine, when a furry little dog -- a Pomeranian -- barged out of a hedge and began yipping at her feet. She quieted the animal and resumed her walk, but inspiration had struck. The tiny dog formed the basis of her winning entry Monday in the 20th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest -- given to the writer who can come up with the worst beginning to an imaginary novel. Kirk, a 44-year-old legal secretary in Vancouver, British Columbia, took the honor with the following sentence: "A small assortment of astonishingly loud brass instruments raced each other lustily to the respective ends of their distinct musical choices as the gates flew open to release a torrent of tawny fur comprised of angry yapping bullets that nipped at Desdemona's ankles, causing her to reflect once again (as blood filled her sneakers and she fought her way through the panicking crowd) that the annual Running of the Pomeranians in Liechtenstein was a stupid idea." The award was created by the English department at San Jose State University to promote word play. It is named for the Victorian novelist Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began with the instant cliche, "It was a dark and stormy night ..." This year's contest drew thousands of entries from around the world, according to San Jose State Professor Scott Rice. Winners and runners-up were named in several categories, but only Kirk takes home the cash prize -- $250. "In keeping with the character and dignity of the contest, we prefer to describe it as: the winner receives a pittance," Rice said. From the Jefferson City News Tribune |
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DOG PROPERTY LAWS
If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. If it's broken, it's yours. Source: FLSaucy You can say any fool thing to a dog and it will look at you as if to say: "My God! You're right! I never would have thought of that!" --Sean Connery |